Category Archives: Legend of Black Lotus

The Apocalypse, a Script and Beer Pong

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Very busy week last week!

I’ve been working on a script with my friend Jim Rhodimer on Apocalyptic Playground, a steampunk sci-fi project, which we’re crowdfunding on Indiegogo here: http://www.indiegogo.com/apocalyptic-playground. to make it easier to collaborate since Jim has already written two-thirds of the script, I’ve taken the lead on  two of the subplots. One plot has religious implications the other has military implications — both are right up my alley.

Saturday we shot several promos for the Indiegogo campaign. They turned out to be super good! Here are the links on Youtube. Feel free to pass them along:

Here’s a picture from the shoot:

Jaime and Apocalyptic Playground Photoshoot

Earlier in the week I attended a fundraiser for the film project, House of Color, which also has an Indiegogo campaign. You can find it here:

http://www.indiegogo.com/House-of-Color

The fundraiser was held at a bar called South in Santa Monica and they sponsored a beer pong tournament. Beer pong is a drinking game in which players throw a ping pong ball across a table with the intent of landing the ball in a cup of beer on the other end.

Earlier in the week I started red pen proofing of my script, Legend of Black Lotus  after I finished onscreen edits and printed a hardcopy. I’m halfway through. Here’s the pic:

Something happened during the script rewrite

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I’ve made Black Lotus my priority this year until this [hopefully] superb rewrite is done. I must admit, that even at this early stage (I’m still tweaking story and structure)  it’s already 100% better story- and structure-wise than it ever was.

My dear friend Mary Cavaliere, who is one of only two people beside myself who have read every version and incarnation of the story, remarked that she couldn’t believe that there was room for the story to get better.  I think she’ll be pleasantly surprised.

It’s not that I went in, gutted and changed things. I used what was there and in each scene asked, how can I make this more challenging for the hero (protagonist), and how can I ratchet up the emotional content.

In the rewrite teleconference we talked about fulfilling your vision.  This means going back to the drawing board when you first decided to write the damn script and remember the visual and visceral elements. Chances are things have changed over the days, weeks, months and years.

So I went back to the places in the story that I imagined would be very emotional and visceral. Then I tweaked the structure and wording to create exactly the image I wanted. It’s tough because I ALWAYS see it, but I have to make sure the reader sees “it” too.

I moved scenes around, took what was already emotional and pumped even more emotion into it.  And I have literally taken the main character through the ringer and back.

If you cried during a passage in the previous script you’ll cry harder. If you got angry, you be outraged. If you were sad, you’ll despair.

Something happened during the script rewrite; the script got better.

The Core of the Screenplay Rewrite

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I learned a little something about this from ScreenwritingU

The core or foundation of the screenplay rewrite rests in these elements below. If you cannot easily identify and communicate what events occur at these pivotal moments your ass is in trouble. If you don’t recognize what these pivotal moments are, don’t Google ‘em. Get to Amazon and buy a screenwriting book.

  • OPENING -
  • INCITING INCIDENT -
  • ACT 1 TURNING POINT -
  • MIDPOINT -
  • ACT 2 TURNING POINT -
  • CRISIS -
  • CLIMAX -
  • RESOLUTION -
  • FINAL PAGE -

You must have these elements in mind during your rewrite. If you do not it’s possible you will lose site of your theme/concept and stray off into unmarketable land.

My current rewrite project is Legend of Black Lotus